Updated: Jan 31
Is love ever REALLY in the air?
If you clicked this link to this article, then the answers is yes! Whether you are single, in a relationship or transitioning to any situation in between, you have attached on to the core frequency of love. The key to happy and healthy relationships with peers start with the relationship you have with yourself. And the good news is, at the end of the day, you will always be with yourself! That might sound a little unappealing. Like one might be a bit lonely, but we should really look at ourselves and the parts of ourselves as individuals that we should strive to get to know. We should offer ourselves acceptance and patience. As humans we grow and evolve. We grow with, past and through people the older we get. How we think and process situations and relationships change as we evolve. Think about it this way; the only common factor in all relationships you are a part of would be that they all include you. That’s why it is important to be aware of how your love energy and belief systems can affect your love life. Below are 4 ways to make sure love energy is allows flowing and abundant in your life
Know that you Deserve
Your very essences is love. Your presences manifesting in this physical world is evidence enough that you deserve unconditional love. Don't give anybody else power to make you feel otherwise. Many factors go into how we perceive love. Unfortunately life isn’t always the kindest to us and we as humans experience pain and heartache. Many factors like past experiences, your parent’s relationships and even conversations can mold how we behave in relationships. Because of these experiences we have already made judgments and created subconscious barriers to try to protect us from hurt. These same judgments can also block us from love. Don’t be too closed off. Know that you deserve to have love come in and embrace thought.
Know your Triggers
Attitude determines your latitude. Be honest with yourself. Know where to draw the line and stand your ground as far as boundaries. Setting boundaries can help with emotionally trigging in regards to your romantic partnerships. Sometimes it's not your partner but your past traumas, outside opinions and fear that can flow over into your relationship and cause issues.
I'll share a story:
I dated a guy who once openly and confidently stated in conversation that he liked darker skinned woman and women with “good” curly hair. Lmaooo I am pretty much high yellow complexion with I have coiling, kinky hair so naturally I did not look like women he said he was attracted to. This made feel terrible and insecure about how I looked. I started to feel some type of way when I would see him communicate with darker skinned women or women who I thought he’d be more attracted to. I had let his comment stir up so much negativity and insecurity within myself. SHAKING MY DARN HEAD! I had allowed someone to make me feel bad over the way I looked and something about myself I could not change. Looking back on the situation it wasn't solely my ex who had made me feel unworthy. Looking deeper into the situation my ex had triggered within myself trauma from my childhood regarding my hair and looks. I've always had thicker hair, which was hard and annoying for my family to deal with. It made me feel bad and his comment triggered me and sending me into downward spiral about not being good enough for him. With awareness and knowing your triggers you can get to the root and solve negative feelings rather than place blame or argue. This is why one should be aware enough to know when triggered and honest enough with themselves to get to the bottom of why they’re triggered. Through practicing self-acceptance I am able to identify when I am triggered and the root, so I am better able to communicate to myself and others what I'm feeling. We do not give power to negativity. By communicating with yourself, you take the power from the problem and give it to myself.
The only way to know yourself, your triggers, and what you like and don’t like is to have an open and HONEST relationship with yourself. Start by having honest dialog. Don’t hold anything back from yourself or judge yourself for anything you are thinking and feeling. If you can’t honestly and openly accept your emotions, you cannot expect anyone else to. Check in with yourself and ask yourself how are you feeling today?
Are you happy? If so, why or why not? Having an open flow of communication with your thoughts help you keep track of your emotions and helps in your personal relationships. You are more honest and able to communicate how you feel more effective when you are Intune with yourself. Spend some time with yourself. Take yourself out. You have to cultivate your own happiness so you are never looking anywhere else but inside yourself
Don't Take Their Word For It
So many factors contribute to how we view love. Social media, our childhoods, and past relationships have a lot to do with how we view intimacy and relationships. It is normal to admire how other people love one another. This is why YouTube Couple culture is so popular. Love is beautiful don’t get me wrong, but love is unique. It doesn’t have one look or general idea. NO TWO RELATIONSHIPS ARE EXCALTY THE SAME. EVER! A lot of the time outside influences can be negative. Seeing things on social media saying “Men are trash.” Or “All women cheat.” could really be negatively toying with your subconscious and you could really deep down believe these opinions. You should never try to imitated or mocked love, but to create your own definition don't lose sight of it. You don’t have to be like the couples you see on Instagram to be in a happy loving relationship. Focus on your truth
Know that truly love is real. Know that YOU ARE LOVE. That you are loved. That your presence is needed and that you are valued. Know that that mindset is everything and can change everything for you if you believe it. Know that if you are trying to manifest love into your life, that you already possess what you are looking for. You already have the love you feel that you are searching for. If you are in love or in relationship know that this happiness you are experiencing is your birthright. Hold on to it.
I love you so much. Till next time <3